Jiichan Got Run Over By a Hanyou
by madmiko
Summary: A silly songfic of sorts, the lyrics are my own adaptation for InuYasha.


DISCLAIMER:

You know I don't own "InuYasha" or "Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer."

They were created by the great Takahashi-san and by Elmo-san and Patsy-san.

All I own is the extreme embarrassment for wasting your time by posting this little paraphrased ditty. My only excuse is I stayed up

most of the night setting up Naruto figures, battle scenes with HALO figures, and a Dora talking kitchen,

while munching on Bourbon Chocolates.

---------------------------------------

"Jii-Chan Got Run Over By a Hanyou"

"Jii-chan, where are you going? It's too late at night for you to be going out," Kagome told him.

"There's demons out there. I can feel it in my bones, and it's my duty to exorcise them from this shrine," he announced.

Souta snickered, "Let him go, Kagome. It's the only 'exorcise' he ever gets."

She smacked the back of his head. "Stop that," she told him sternly, trying to hide her own smile. "Jii-chan, you know Inuyasha is coming, so please don't stick those old sutras all over him. You know how he hates that."

"Don't be long," her mother told the old priest. "It's very cold outside."

"Hmph. The spiritual fires in my blood will keep me warm," he declared, and stumbled out the door.

"Those aren't spiritual fires, -- it's sake," Souta laughed.

"Souta!" But Kagome and her mother both giggled.

After a little time had passed, Kagome started to get worried. "Maybe we should go out and bring him back in. It really is too cold for him to be outside so long."

Just then, the door crashed open, and Inuyasha came stomping in, carrying an unconscious Jii-chan in his arms.

"What happened?!!?" her mother cried.

----------------

"_Jii-chan got run over by a hanyou_

_Walking from the well-house Christmas Eve_

_You can say there's no such thing as youkai_

_But as for me and Souta, we believe"_

_-----------------_

"_He'd been drinking too much sake_

_And we begged him not to go_

_But he mumbled about demons_

_As he stumbled out the door into the snow"_

_------------------_

_"When we found him Christmas morning_

_At the scene of the attack_

_There was a sutra on his forehead_

_And incriminating claw marks on his back"_

_--------------------_

"What happened? I'll tell you _what happened_. That crazy old man attacked me as I was coming out of the well! He's just lucky I didn't tear him apart before I realized who he was," Inuyasha scowled fiercely.

"Well, I'm glad you were able to restrain yourself in time," Mama Higurashi said with a nod. "Why don't you put him on the couch?"

"Feh." He walked over to the couch and dumped the old man.

"Gomen, Inuyasha. Jii-chan had a little too much sake," Kagome told him.

"Crazy old goat," the hanyou grumbled.

"Well, it may be just as well if he sleeps for a while. Hideki is coming over for a bit, and he doesn't like him very much," Mama confessed.

"Who's Hideki?" Inuyasha asked.

Kagome smiled. "He's Mama's new boyfriend. Oh! You need to change into some modern clothes and put a hat or bandanna on before he gets here."

"I'm not wearing any of those uncomfortable, tight hakamas," he said stubbornly.

"Please, Inuyasha?" Kagome asked sweetly, leaning forward so her face was just inches away from his. "It's for Mama."

Staring into her wide, pleading eyes, his cheeks pinkened at her nearness. "All right," he gave in.

"Arigatou," she smiled at him, her face beaming with happiness. "The clothes are laying out on my bed. Hurry and change, -- he could be here any minute."

"How do I look, Kagome?" her mother asked nervously, smoothing out her skirt.

"You look beautiful."

"Arigatou. Oh, here he is!"

The evening went smoothly and everyone got along fine until Mama went into the kitchen to check on dinner and Hideki followed her. Suddenly, Inuyasha jumped up and rushed in there. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" he growled, grabbing the poor man by the front of his shirt.

"Inuyasha! Let him go! It's all right," Kagome grabbed his arm.

"What do you mean it's all right? He _kissed _her!"

Blushing profusely, her mother pointed to the bough of mistletoe hanging from the center of the ceiling, and explained the tradition.

"You mean he can kiss you just because you're standing under that?" he said in disbelief.

She nodded.

"Keh. That's a stupid reason. Can you imagine that bozu Miroku if he heard that?"

Kagome laughed, "Sango would knock him out for sure."

"Um, ..." her mother pointed at the ceiling again. Kagome and Inuyasha were standing directly underneath another bough.

Inuyasha's eyes grew wide and he turned to stare at Kagome. She looked so pretty standing there with her cheeks so pink. But, she didn't really expect him to kiss her, did she? He blinked when she stood up on her tiptoes and leaned closer to him. She was actually going to ...

"Unhand her, you demon!"

"Jii-chan! You're awake," Kagome choked.

(_I should have tossed him down the well when I had the chance._)

--------------------

_"Jii-chan got run over by a hanyou_

_Walking from the well-house Christmas Eve_

_You can say there's no such thing as youkai_

_But as for me and Souta, we believe"_

_------------------------_

_"Now we're all so proud of Mama_

_She's been takin' this so well_

_See her in her new mini-skirt_

_Drinking sake, dating men, and raisin' hell"_

_------------------------_

_"It's not Christmas without Jii-chan_

_Kagome almost got her wish_

_And she just can't help but wonder_

_If she knocked him out, is there still time to get her kiss"_

_-----------------------_

"Dinner's ready, minna-san," Mama announced, hoping to break the tension. "Let's all relax and enjoy the meal."

-------------------

_"Jii-chan got run over by a hanyou_

_Walking from the well-house Christmas Eve_

_You can say there's no such thing as youkai_

_But as for me and Souta, we believe"_

_-----------------------_

_"Now the ramen's on the table_

_And the sake's in the cups_

_And the whole family is hoping_

_He'll pass back out instead of simply throwing up"_

_------------------------_

_"I told my friends in the Sengoku_

_That Inuyasha really threw a fit_

_It's not safe to throw more sutras _

_At a guy who hangs with slayers, pervs and kits"_

_------------------------_

_"Jii-chan got run over by a hanyou_

_Walking from the well-house Christmas Eve_

_You can say there's no such thing as youkai_

_But as for me and Souta, we believe."_

_------------------------_

"He didn't really chase your grandfather all around the shrine, did he, Kagome?" Shippou laughed, when she was telling them all about the previous evening.

"Hai, he did," she smiled.

"I can't say as I blame him. What an inopportune moment to be interrupted," Miroku winked.

"So you didn't kiss him?" Sango asked.

"Keh! That's none of your business," Inuyasha huffed. But everyone could see that his cheeks were red before he bounded away.

They turned back to Kagome, who was also blushing, but smiling mischievously. "Jii-chan was so tired after all that running, he went straight to bed. Mama went for a walk with Matsomora-san, and Souta sat in the living room and played his video games. So, I got Inuyasha to help me with the dishes."

"Inuyasha actually washed dishes?" Shippou said in a disbelieving tone.

"I think you are missing the point, Shippou. The mistletoe was in the kitchen," Miroku pointed out with a grin.

"Oh, ... yeah!"

"By the way, Kagome, did you happen to bring any of that with you?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Yeah, it's not much of a much, but Happy Holidays, anyway!


End file.
